Seasons Greetings

Booga Booga Booga little people. It's the time of the year when it's time to say adios to the year. But seemingly my counterpart has done that rather well already, I'm just going to go on and say reasonless and meaningless things.....yet again. Well I've gotta stick with my strenghts, right. So since its Christmas time, and I was not paid any hefty or even mediocre visit from a Santa Claus, I'm not too high on spirits perhaps. But I guess since that has been the case for my enitre lifetime, the pain has subsided long ago, and expectations have died a tombless death. Disappointments have lost meaning and their increasing recurrence has been faithfully reminding me of my pathetic-ness. This unfailing circle of downs and lows does not damage my holiday spirits now. I've grown accustomed to not seeing any jelly-belly old fella dressed in a red suit fall down my house's chimney. Also perhaps since my house does not boast of a chimney, it would be rather surprising if that event did ever occur. I've always thought that the non-visits are not a result of my bad-ness through-out the year, which unmistakebly is a factor, but I prefer to dump the reason on the apparent breaking down of Santa's workshop at the North Pole, due to a terrorist attack.....or perhaps Santa couldn't get across all the way to India on such high fuel prices. I mean, sleighs do require fuel, it's scientific fact....Well no it isn't, but who cares, I'm trying to make a point. I'm trying to use satire of some really bad form, mostly bad because I'm using it, but with a deep meaning none the less.
New Year is a time for resolutions. I've made one. It is to study harder....ha, that's a good one. Don't see that lasting for more than a day. But in that one day, I hope to figure out how to set the course for the entire year. And that is the magical usefulness of a useless resolution. So I do encourage new years resolutions, as farfetchedly blah they are....Alrighty, go enjoy the little time that has been mustered up by God for you to enjoy....

Reflections

Thou dirge of the dying year,
To which this closing night
Will be the dome of a vast sepulchre,
Vaulted with all thy congregated might

Sincerely hoping that none of you reads Shelley, trust me, you don't want to.....well..uh..yes..it's a beauty..but as if we've got our plates empty.

Moving on, as we travel another 365 days, I just happened to look back to judge the road. It's been more than a rocky terrain, more of the place where the Furious Five practice, hope you've watched Kung-Fu Panda, that was an oasis in a desert. Anyway, coming back to lookin' back, the going's been tough, there've been countless wounds, and deeper than ever.

The journey began on a happy note, I remember Sensex zoomed the first day, but since then, the trends have been bearish. Beginning in US, which had had more development than it could digest, spread faster than smell of shit. Many banks went outta business, and jobs were cut at phenomenal rates. You could tweak Metternich's statement, 'When US sneezes, the entire world catches cold'.......Than began Credit Crunch or Liquidity Crisis or the greatest economic poo after the Great Depression.

Things were no better at personal level. Depression was not confined to the economic platform. Trust me, we've seen better days, and loads better than this. Gloom's all over and life's on an edge. For all you know, today might've been your last day in office. God's cruel. All we had to cheer ourselves were oil prices, but the effect was reduced, thanks to Dollar strengthening against Rupee, a rise of 13 rupees, if I'm not mistaken, and I scarcely am, barring exams. It was panic, fear, and terror.

Yeah, terror....how could one forget. The outrageous attack on Mumbai. Well, the effects were quite the opposite....the slackening hold of the unity string across the country was taut again. Thackerey with his 'Marathi Manoos' was told to lick dust by the Mumbaikars. This guy had a heaven of an year. It was nice to see US jumping in for peacekeeping. With it's aid, India might just be able to set Paks right.

There was yet another terror, not on a large scale though, but I'd been trying and trying and you've got no idea how hard I was trying, screwing up BSNL, Rapidshare, WinRAR, Windows, Graphics Card, Sound Card, Splitters, Joiners, Archivers, Extensions, CDs, Orkut, People, Download Managers, Electricity, and my exams that I managed to set it right today. Actually I had been having problems with a game, Harry Potter and the Quidditch World Cup, to be frank.

Now I know you're all drooling and what not, but look at the brighter side. We've had a bad phase, and next year can't be worse, not unless US goes bankrupt, the odds of which are lesser than that of Mayawati being fair and transparent. We'd had the dark, it's time for dawn.'If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?' Call it hangovers of exams, and it's Ta Ta for now, wishing all the non-existing regular blog readers a hopefully very happy Christmas and an equally successful and glorious New Year.

Can't fix...can''t replace

SOmetimes it very happens that you want to kill yorself. Like I do now. Mainly because I screwed up something I should not have, and I well, pretty much can't sink and believe that I could be that damn shitty. Not a great feeling, that's for sure...But then I begin to try and figure out as to what can be done now. And the fact that pretty much nothing ban be done anymore to make it right, does reconcile me to my die-thoughts. It sucks really, to have that feeling. Whether it's an examination, that you could ace but instead ended up losing everythin, or wheher it is life in general. I've learnt that the only reason those kinda things happen, are to make sure we don't go wrong again. I mean, it pricks your conscience and you feel like crap. You feel guilty, and other people feel disappointed. But that disappointment is nothing compared to the pain and sheer grief, the fact that you let yourself down, gives you.
Some people say that don't take things to your heart. They tell you to take it easy, and let it go. And I pretty much too think, that letting it go is after all what is best, of course with the lesson well gripped. But really, how do you let go of something that you feel really bad over that you did. I think the best way is to understand that we people are too insignificant. The things that happen in the days of our lives are of a transitory nature, and it all really melts down to 'what is going to happen, shall happen.....but you sure as hell can srcipt your own little world too'
Now where does the heavily guilty part fit into ? I don't know. I guess sometimes, it's best to think that stuff happens for a reason. Guilt for doing something wrong isn't required, it holds you back...learning from that shit-hole expereience is, on the other hand, quite desirable, and very much useful. I mean, son, you're not gonna be able to go back in time and freaking make it right again, but you might as well not look back at it and feel pathetic either. Think of it as a cab ride, pay for the heapy-mistake-ride with your inexpereince-money, lose it and give it to the fate-driver, and keep the lesson-change for yourself.