Rahul Gandhi "embarasses" UPA

Look look who's here, the writers!!! Yes, it's been a while since this blog was written on, and I've, meanwhile moved on to another blog - bitmechanics.blogspot.com. But it's primary purpose is technical/*nix-y, and today I felt like saying something that would be out-of-context for a technical blog.

So, unless you live underneath a cave or something, you might've heard about the Supreme Court decision "mandating immediate disqualification of lawmakers convicted for a criminal offence punishable with a jail term of more than two years", the attempt to counter the decision via the parliament route, and the subsequent ordinance the government passed, and Rahul Gandhi's comments terming the ordinance as "complete nonsense".

People say, Pappu pass nahi ho sakta.

I say, brilliant move, Mr. Gandhi. *slow clap*

Okay, this is not about me supporting any political party or a person whose only achievement till date is being born in the right family. It's all over the media how Rahul Gandhi has "embarrassed" the UPA government. I doubt it - I seriously doubt it. In a party/government where a minister can't scratch his ass without first clearing it up with Madamji, I seriously doubt if an ordinance like this can be passed if the Vice-President and the next Prime-Ministerial candidate feels it's "complete nonsense" and "should be torn and thrown out". I think it's a brilliant PR move. (I also think who needs saas-bahu shows when our politics is such an entertainer, but I digress.)

Consider this - lots of educated people, the blogosphere, the tweetosphere, the quorosphere (basically the Internet - I just made up half of those terms to sound more svelte) think that Rahul Gandhi does not deserve to be a Prime Minister. After all, what are his achievements? Where was he when the UPA Government was embroiled in one scam after another? What experience does he have at ANY post in the government? He is basically being handed the Prime Ministerial post on a silver platter. Not a very favorable sentiment for the Congress 6 months before the elections.

Rahul Gandhi single-handedly aims to change that perception. He's trying to say "Forget those idiots who pretend to be in power now. Unlike our Sardarji, I'm truly in power within my party, and I can actually get things done. I don't subscribe to the 'political reasons' school of thought that my party members use as an excuse. I will change things." Consider this - if any other member of the party had dared to say so (anyone but Mrs. Sonia Gandhi), he'd have been pwned. Now Rahul Gandhi says this and suddenly the official party line changes and the government is reconsidering its decision. This is a show of power and an assurance of change. Nice try, Mr. Gandhi.

Behold the Kurta

He comes attired in a dhoti-kurta and a sandalwood tikka on his forehead. His wrists bear no rolex, his clothes are no Armani, his slippers are no Adidas, but when he arrives on the scene, he takes the whole world by storm.

The description sounds like that of an Indian, but before swelling with pride, recall the last time you dressed up not to look the best ? No ? Heck, your own mom has been trying to make you look fair right since the day you were born.

The Indian I'm talking about, my Punjabi [or non-Punjabi] friends, is the South Indian. I know I can hear many 'What the Hell's right now, but that, my friends, is the fact.

The South Indian is the guy who can make a Bangalore in India. The second Silicon Valley of the world. There's an all-India exam. Result : South Indians prevail. Now I'm in no way diminishing the achievements of the right, and successful Northereners out there, but maybe the common Northern masses could take a leaf out of their book.

Look inside yourselves, and you know that I'm right when I say that all Punjabis are capable of is saying 'Punjabiyan di shaan vakhri' and then running to Canada or Australia or US. Come summers and the state of power speaks volumes about the shaan of Punjabis. They, scratch that, we're the people who still need hand fans and candles in the era of iPods. WE are the people who call Gandhi our Father and fail to adhere to the principle he lived by all his life, the principle of Simple Living And High Thinking. And while Punjabi youth find it easier to leave a structure that could use their skills, power and capabilities to an already built structure, the Southerner is trying to make his home something he can be proud of. Not surprisingly, the word NRI is almost synonymous with the word Punjabi, and that Punjabis are known to offer toy-airplanes to Gods to grant them Visas.

When we find walls of your house cracking, needing repair, do we run off to neighbours house ? No, we repair it, we make it perfect, we look at it and we work at it until we can feel damn proud of what we've accomplished. Why not our city ? Why not the same with our state ? Why not the same with our country ?

Why are Punjab, Haryana, Rajasthan the bottom three when it comes to Sex Ratios ? Funny how it works , here again, Southern States are at the top. Literacy ? Kerela's got 98%. Anything, you quote it, you gotta admit that the simple Southy who refuses to be a mannequin to the latest fashion trends is on the top. Rain water harvesting ? Heck, these guys have got the ocean all around them, and DESPITE THAT, Tamil Nadu is the first state to make rain-water harvesting mandatory.

Let's face it. We're still trapped within ourselves, we're too narrow-sighted to see beyond that, we've handed over the remote control of our lives to Badals and Amarinder Singh. We're being governed by an outdated government that does not really do anything. We plan on building new power plants when we're lacking 500MW of power. And it's still 'plan', mind you. No construction is anywhere in sight. We are an army of youth that is commanded by political parties, student parties and the only thing we know is how to burn buses and riot over the death of some person we don't have an idea about, all because he and we pray to the same God. We mourn deaths of great personas by declaring holidays and sitting at homes. When Jyoti Basu, primarily related to West Bengal died, apparently no other non-West Bengal state other than Punjab was greived enough to declare a holiday.

We're killing the native industry, we're shying powerful conglomerates away. That's Punjab for you. We bask in the deeds of our saints and feel happy about it. But a huge lot of work has to be done to change the situation. What the hell...why are we supposed to do all this work. Who'll call us 'vakhra' from Bangaloreans if we don't do what they did. The solution : let's catch a flight to Canada.

Indians...in spirit, blood and soul

We're Indians, and proud to be, the reason though, remains a mystery. Unless, of course, we begin banking on the rich culture and traditions that are all but lost now. A portrait of India, will most certainly involve dilapidated roads and a profile of our beloved nation is incomplete without the mention of the ultra-efficient government.

Yet...yet...do note that there is a yet...there is something, something that we notice everyday, something that's the very heart of the Indian life, something that defines the very India in which we live, something that's the root cause of the unfathomabilion problems we cry about, something that yet....goes unnoticed.

That "something" my friends, is we, our mental attitude, our lifestyle, our habits, or anything remotely associated with us.

I'd call that mindset "Commandments of Indian Life". Picture this.

1. Okay. You're travelling, who doesn't have to ? There's a banana in your hand, it gets over. No good thing is there to stay. You're still travelling. Where does the peel go ? Of course, outside, the roads, our very own roads. They're built with out money, it's our birthright to litter on them. Go, India. Ok, let's say that a few did have a conscience, they didn't litter the roads. They find a spot, some place which already has a heap, so there goes the banana. The molehill slowly becomes a mountain, an Indian Signature.

2. Now you've stopped. You travel to stop sometime. Where does the vehicle go ? Of course, in the center of the road. After all, we built it. F*** everyone who has a problem. Who'll call us a true Indian if we don't screw the traffic management.

3. Now let's rewind. You're planning to go out. There's a Sumo, capacity-driver + 2 co-passengers, and 3 each on the other two seats. That brings the total to 9. But we surely can fit in 12-13. 3 can easily make way for 4. Similarly, squeeze in the front and the rear. Presto, you've got 12 sitting. Now Bunty can sit in Momma's lap and Shunty can sit in Grandma's lap. That gives 14, the magic of Indian arrangement.

4. Now' let's go to traffic lights. As a kid, I always used to wonder why we're told to cross the roads on Zebra crossings, and what would prevent a driver from hitting us on one of those crossings. A while ago, I was told that when the light goes red, drivers are supposed to stop before the zebra crossing, and that's when a pedestrian can easily cross. But that'd be a dream come true in India. It's been a few years since I've seen a situation when no one jumped a light. Even if they don't, stopping before the zebra crossing is the last thing on their mind. Any day, observer carefully, motorists will be sprawling over the crossing, and the more adventurous ones will have already covered half the distance towards the next road. Why don't you move on as well ?

5. Then there's the timer. When it reaches 5 seconds, motorists will slowly begin moving towards the next road or will have already crossed it by the time. Why did you wait for 25 seconds if you had to jump the signal ?

6. And then there's the tendency of breaking rules. Indians simply cannot live without that. One won't be surprised if he hears the converstation "Hey buddy, there's this new law out, let's break it".

7. If you see a stranger, he'll be conpletely stone-faced until a friend or a relative calls him and he has to wear a fake smile and laugh in a manner that puts Navjot Sidhu to shame. I mean, does it hurt to keep a calm and relaxed attitude instead of staring at people as if they were the killers of your only son.

8. Now imagine you've got a call on your cellphone. The most persistant tendency is to go to roof or get to the road and speak loud enough to let people know what that person did to you, where is that person's wife's uncle going on summer vacations, or simply to show he receives phone calls. Why can't you keep your converstations to yourselves ?

I'd have written a few more "commandments", but unfortunately, my stomach's rumbling, so I'll have to take your leave. So get a phone, go on the roof and scream loudly for we're Indians, in spirit, blood and soul.

The winding and twisting road....

So it's a crucial juncture for tenthies...or at least that's what parents have to say....Though if you grope somewhere in an honest corner of your heart, you have to agree that they couldn't be more right.

So, we'll now be pushed outta the protective walls of school to the brutal world outside. Exposing our tender brains to the merciless competition. And of course, the way Indians are reproducing, it's bound to be ball-cracking. You have thousands..scratch that...lakhs...thwarting you on your way to the peak...and a rank in top 2000 is just not good enough for these people. To add to the woe, parents feel they'd rather die of shame.

Adding to the woe is uncertainty....which way ? The world economy is in imbalance...it doesn't seem that the once 24 karat gold IT Industry is gonna be the champion after this, having already expanded to it's peak. There'll be new sectors leading the way...you dunno which...is it biotechnology ? Seems likely, especially with the DNA technology, which is well poised to be in the nex-gen PCs.You're at crossroads, there are so many directions to choose from, the lights are off, you don't know which will lead to the peak...or whether you'll be able to survive the race in the 1.15 billion strong nation ?

The way I visualise it, it's a winding and twisting road, you never know what it has in store for you, you're walking, rather driving, seeing that most people are getting their vehicles in +1, irrelevant though...as I was saying, you're moving along this dark and uncertain road, not even sure if it does lead to the apogee. An ill-designed curriculum, rather a faulty education system adds to the woes. You're supposed to study 12+ hours...wouldn't it be kinder to add another year to higher secondary system ? And you don't get good teachers in schools...how in hell's name are you supposed to have clear fundamentals ?

As if this wasn't enough...our generations will be left to cope up with the problems our ancestors have been heaving us with. Population, as I said, is the root cause. We have energy crisis, resource crisis, water crisis, economic crisis, crises crises crises. Why didn't they give a damn before burning all the coal that their offsprings would have to burn their asses to get any heat or electricity for that matter.There's a limited money out there, and with so many trying to lay their hands on it, only the super-duper-ultra-fine will be able to get good. It's more of poker than chess, all you can do is have faith on your luck.

Vande Mantram

So it is the 26th of January, and I'm getting all patriotic, so what could be a decent outlet for all the pent-up nationalist feelings.....umm.....the blog that nobody reads ! Alright, well, lets see here, Republic Day brings with it nothing special. I mean, who are we kidding it's like any other day, except that there's all the more less reason to go to school. Just look at the flag get hoisted, and stand up for the national anthem.....yata yata yata, the whole routine. Well, does anybody care really. Not anymore they dont anyway. I know I dont. And I am not the traciest bit ashamed. Which probably speakes volumes for the indifference that has become so widespread that it has made the ultimate indifference, the indifference and ingratitude to the achievement of sacrifice, not that different. I know I've long forgotten the things that did take place on this very land. The incredible sacrifices, the now-unimaginable then-regular feats that were too darn many and common to even take worthy notice at that time. And now, all that remains of them are foggy memories, and unclear projections of the load of crap people went through. Those people had gotten accustomed to dying for India. Nobody dies for nobody, let alone doing it for an ambigous idea of a non-existant nation. They choose to do so, all by themselves, no pressure or forced recruitment of any sort. They fearlessly did crazy things with a spirit that has gotten extinct in a epidemic manner. The truth isnt concealed, defintiely not. We all do know what shit the freedom fighters and revolutionaries underwent, and how they toiled for the future India. An India that hasnt quite retaliyated to their dreams. A nation with citizens not knowing the diffrence between the Independence day and the Republic Day. An India not having the slightest clue as to what the processions led by chants of "Vande Mantram" really stood for. An India that's forced people to dash to foreign lands, amongst the same people against whom the entire war was waged. Its non-laughably bad. I'm gonna do straight-shooting here - it's an India I'm not proud of. That's that. I mean, no arguments about the absolute hugeness of the preciousness of our history, but what have I done ? What have we done ? A generation is slumbering......bah..and let me just do some admitting, big time, I'm most probably going to take the shortest route outta this country. Yeah, pretty much. Try to get a humble job outside somewhere. Now how do I credit myself, eh. How ?? I dont have the balls to stay in and do something. Yeah, I dont. Perhaps I do, but in this moment of time, I'm not going to be allowed by basically anybody to go down that hunting road. It's just a matter of not being able to pick the bones out, not of being haunted. And thats why even at the end, I have no resolutions. I have no conclusions. I am unpatriotic. I am paralyzed and blinded by loud and louder happenings. I am not brave enough to be grateful, since I do know that there's a huge responsibilty that that requires. It requires backing that gratitude up, with goods. And I honestly, am too startled by my own incapabilites. But then again, that's the same for all of us.

Seasons Greetings

Booga Booga Booga little people. It's the time of the year when it's time to say adios to the year. But seemingly my counterpart has done that rather well already, I'm just going to go on and say reasonless and meaningless things.....yet again. Well I've gotta stick with my strenghts, right. So since its Christmas time, and I was not paid any hefty or even mediocre visit from a Santa Claus, I'm not too high on spirits perhaps. But I guess since that has been the case for my enitre lifetime, the pain has subsided long ago, and expectations have died a tombless death. Disappointments have lost meaning and their increasing recurrence has been faithfully reminding me of my pathetic-ness. This unfailing circle of downs and lows does not damage my holiday spirits now. I've grown accustomed to not seeing any jelly-belly old fella dressed in a red suit fall down my house's chimney. Also perhaps since my house does not boast of a chimney, it would be rather surprising if that event did ever occur. I've always thought that the non-visits are not a result of my bad-ness through-out the year, which unmistakebly is a factor, but I prefer to dump the reason on the apparent breaking down of Santa's workshop at the North Pole, due to a terrorist attack.....or perhaps Santa couldn't get across all the way to India on such high fuel prices. I mean, sleighs do require fuel, it's scientific fact....Well no it isn't, but who cares, I'm trying to make a point. I'm trying to use satire of some really bad form, mostly bad because I'm using it, but with a deep meaning none the less.
New Year is a time for resolutions. I've made one. It is to study harder....ha, that's a good one. Don't see that lasting for more than a day. But in that one day, I hope to figure out how to set the course for the entire year. And that is the magical usefulness of a useless resolution. So I do encourage new years resolutions, as farfetchedly blah they are....Alrighty, go enjoy the little time that has been mustered up by God for you to enjoy....

Reflections

Thou dirge of the dying year,
To which this closing night
Will be the dome of a vast sepulchre,
Vaulted with all thy congregated might

Sincerely hoping that none of you reads Shelley, trust me, you don't want to.....well..uh..yes..it's a beauty..but as if we've got our plates empty.

Moving on, as we travel another 365 days, I just happened to look back to judge the road. It's been more than a rocky terrain, more of the place where the Furious Five practice, hope you've watched Kung-Fu Panda, that was an oasis in a desert. Anyway, coming back to lookin' back, the going's been tough, there've been countless wounds, and deeper than ever.

The journey began on a happy note, I remember Sensex zoomed the first day, but since then, the trends have been bearish. Beginning in US, which had had more development than it could digest, spread faster than smell of shit. Many banks went outta business, and jobs were cut at phenomenal rates. You could tweak Metternich's statement, 'When US sneezes, the entire world catches cold'.......Than began Credit Crunch or Liquidity Crisis or the greatest economic poo after the Great Depression.

Things were no better at personal level. Depression was not confined to the economic platform. Trust me, we've seen better days, and loads better than this. Gloom's all over and life's on an edge. For all you know, today might've been your last day in office. God's cruel. All we had to cheer ourselves were oil prices, but the effect was reduced, thanks to Dollar strengthening against Rupee, a rise of 13 rupees, if I'm not mistaken, and I scarcely am, barring exams. It was panic, fear, and terror.

Yeah, terror....how could one forget. The outrageous attack on Mumbai. Well, the effects were quite the opposite....the slackening hold of the unity string across the country was taut again. Thackerey with his 'Marathi Manoos' was told to lick dust by the Mumbaikars. This guy had a heaven of an year. It was nice to see US jumping in for peacekeeping. With it's aid, India might just be able to set Paks right.

There was yet another terror, not on a large scale though, but I'd been trying and trying and you've got no idea how hard I was trying, screwing up BSNL, Rapidshare, WinRAR, Windows, Graphics Card, Sound Card, Splitters, Joiners, Archivers, Extensions, CDs, Orkut, People, Download Managers, Electricity, and my exams that I managed to set it right today. Actually I had been having problems with a game, Harry Potter and the Quidditch World Cup, to be frank.

Now I know you're all drooling and what not, but look at the brighter side. We've had a bad phase, and next year can't be worse, not unless US goes bankrupt, the odds of which are lesser than that of Mayawati being fair and transparent. We'd had the dark, it's time for dawn.'If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?' Call it hangovers of exams, and it's Ta Ta for now, wishing all the non-existing regular blog readers a hopefully very happy Christmas and an equally successful and glorious New Year.